Choosing Happy

All my life I have found something to be sad or unhappy about.  It was just what we did in our family.  *Insert happy goings on here*....*Insert yes but's here*...there was always a look at the negative in every happy moment.

Body image was negative.  Eating was negative.  Creativity was negative.  Being eccentric or "weird" was negative.  Body functions were negative.  Imperfections were negative.

Nothing was normal.  Everyone else was normal, we, were not.

So I grew up thinking everyone was better that me, could do it better than me and that I was sub par in every and all aspects.

As you well know, this leads to unhappiness, depression, anxiety and a myriad of other things that I won't even get into because they're in the past.

What I DIDN'T know, is that happiness is a choice.  Your likes and dislikes and eating and body functions and creativity and wonderful weirdness are all things you can't control.  But, should you chose to accept them and love them as part of who you are, something miraculous happens.

Happiness.

And it's a choice.  You have to consciously say to yourself, "This is me, I love who I am and I choose to be happy because I am a good person."

Some days it is harder than others and, like everyone, there are days when those negative thoughts creep in and dampen my day, sometimes for a few days at a time.  Then I see something or hear something or read something that reminds me that I am the only person in control of my happiness.  And that I can do it.  I am strong enough and good enough and I have love and support in my life.

Bad things happen to everyone.  People are mean.  The world can be unfair and cruel.

This too shall pass.

The only consistent thing in this world is change.  Nothing will forever be the same.

I choose happiness.  I choose love.  I choose acceptance.  I choose forgiveness, both for myself and for others.

I have an amazing life and I've worked hard to get here.  No one can take it away from me!

Happy 4th Birthday my Darling Girl!

 This 4 years has gone by incredibly fast.  She brings me joy every single day and I wish she would stay little forever!  But, she'll start school in September and knowing how quickly she learns it won't be long before she's surprising me in new ways!

Happy Birthday "little" girl, don't grow up too fast!!! xoxoxox

Photo heavy updates :)

I know it's been months but life has been good and busy :)

Oliver has come and gone, it went amazing and I'm already starting to prepare for next year's show, "The Music Man"...I can't wait to start rehearsals!

Operation buy a house is back on though we know it won't be until the new year at least because Jer has to go to school in September to finish the last block requirement for his apprenticeship...then he'll write his test and be a journeyman.  Being on EI for those two months means it won't be a very good time to buy a house yet!  But, as soon as he's done and writes, then we can do it, so we're starting our savings now while he's getting crazy overtime hours so that we can get through the EI months and hopefully still have some left over come House Time.

I've stuck to my New Years resolution as well (which was to lose 50lbs this year) and so far I have lost 30 of those 50 since January 1st :)

I've also decided to put more time and effort into creating art.  I've started an online class and I'm loving every minute of it.

We took a trip to the Sugar Bush during March Break, celebrated Jer's 30th with a surprise party for him and Marryn had her dance recital in May.  The boys also played the Spring season of Ball Hockey this year.

Last Sunday, I had a BBQ with two of three of my surrogate families and had some pictures taken of it.  It was a beautiful day and we all had a great time, I'm hoping to do it again next year!

Other than that we're basically just in a holding pattern.  Nothing new or exciting going on except the kids being out of school for the summer.  We purchased 1 year memberships to the Science Centre and ROM in Toronto so we plan to do that a few times this summer.   We've also booked and paid for the house in Florida for a week again so we'll be doing that in November this year.  I have a feeling that will become a yearly trip :)

Anyway, here are some photo's of the last few months!

 

New Jeans, size 14 at Old Navy, I haven't been this small in years!