Friday

Today has been a pretty rough day emotionally and I've spent a couple of hours in tears.  I was really getting my hopes up for this house we were supposed to see tonight when I received an email from the person renting the home that he had heard some unfavourable things about my family and how we live.  He is, of course, mistaken but the story has been told now and it doesn't matter.  If he did reconsider we wouldn't rent from him anyway as he is clearly someone who takes hearsay at face value without doing his own research.  He judged the book by the review of someone who glanced at the back cover synopsis.  He asked for references and a letter from the landlord as well as Jer's employer to verify we were who we said and so on...we had all the documents he asked for...apparently it didn't matter.

Although I wanted this house so badly and I was so disappointed when I received the email, after talking it over with not only Jer but with several other people, I've come to the conclusion that it is what it is and it's obviously meant to be.

That being said, I'm feeling the need to share some quotable inspiration.  I was blindsided today and have been frustrated, angry, sad, appalled and just plain irritated since then.  I have to believe in karma, I have no other recourse.  I do believe that you cannot be vindictive and spiteful without it coming back to bite you at some point.  So I will not lower myself to that level.  I will not wish ill on people.  I will feel sorry for them.  And that is all.
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"What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.” ~Jewish Saying

“Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.” George Eliot
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"Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world right in the eye."
- Helen Keller

"I'm a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it's bad or good."

"Sometimes not getting what you want is an amazing stroke of luck."
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This too shall pass.  We have certainly gone through worse.  What's important is that we have each other.  This will not matter in 6 months, in 1 year, in 5 years.

I will not let the opinions of others define me.  I know who I am.  I know I'm not what they said and I will continue to live my life the way *I* see fit, not the way others THINK I should be.  I am not mean.  I am not vindictive.  I am not spiteful.  I love my children and my husband and my friends and family.  I am generous with them.  I do not expect anything I have not worked for.  And for anyone that thinks otherwise, you obviously didn't realize I might have grown up in the last 10 years (22 year old's are certainly more immature and selfish than 32 year old's!).  People change and I am not who I once was.  People make mistakes, and most learn from them.  I know I have.